No More Shit, Says Pat O’Sullivan

Jesus Christ, says Pat.  Whatever ya do, will ya go out and feckin vote?

Sure! shout the Plain People of Limerick.  Who will we vote for?

Well, says Pat, you could always vote for me.  Of course, you could vote for someone else too, but I’m nearly 100% honest and that’s a lot better than the other gobshites.

Fair play to ya Pat.  You’ll take no shit.

I’ll take no shit at all, says Pat.  No feckin shit.  I understand most of the issues.

You do, Pat.  You do.

I do.  And I mean most of what I say.  There’s a change for ya!

What are your policies, Pat?

No more shit!  That’s my policy.  I’m sick of this shit, and I promise to try and change it.  I’ll do my best anyway, and if I’m no good, you can always kick me out next time.

Pat, you couldn’t be worse than the  gobshites we have.

True, says Pat.  I couldn’t do a worse job than this crowd.  Take a chance — what have you got to lose?  We’re already in the shit, thanks to this crowd.  Kick ‘em out and give me a chance. I might be no good, but you’ll never find out till you try me, and at least I’ll take no shit.

Good man, Pat.  You talk no shit.

No shit, says Pat.  No more feckin shit.

Yes We Might! Inspirational Speech By Pat

Addressing a crowd of devoted followers, Pat O’Sullivan delivered a resounding statement of his intentions if elected.

Yes we might!! he announced, and the crowd roared back.

Yes we might!!!

We might change the country, said Pat.

Yes we might!!

We might take on City Hall!

Yes we might!!

We might take no shit.

Yes we might!!

We might have some good policies.

Yes we might!!

We might make some changes around here.

Yes we might!!!!

We can go for a pint now.

Yes we can!!!!

Patman Saves The World

- Do you know what, Pat, said Mrs Pat.

- I don’t, Nora.  What is it?

- Pat, you’re after gettin’ a bit pudgy from all them overly-filling dinners in the smoke-filled rooms while you were planning your campaign.

- ‘Twasn’t dinners, Nora.  ‘Twas bags of chips. I have to be honest with you.

- Of course, said Mrs Pat.  They don’t call you Honest Pat for nothin’.

- Ninety-nine percent honest, Nora, twinkled Pat. That’s me.  As honest as they come.

- Anyway, Pat, what I wanted to tell you is this.  The postman arrived with your new superhero outfit.  Patman.

- Ah that’s great, Nora.

- ‘Tisn’t Pat. Like I said, you’re gone a bit tubby and you won’t look great in that superhero underpants thing, even with a cape.  You won’t look great on the TV when you’re saving babies from the tops of skyscrapers and sweeping up super villains by the scruff of the neck.

- That’s true, Nora. So what’ll I do instead?  I wouldn’t like to let the Earth people down if I’m going to be a member of Limerick Ciry Council.

- Well, Pat.  I have an idea.  Why don’t you wear your blazer and comfortable slacks while you’re fighting earthquakes and blowing out forest fires?  You’d look much better, especially with that little silk hanky tucked into your pocket, in case you ever needed to wipe your manly brow while saving the planet.

- Well feck it, Nora, do you know what?  I never thought of that.  Damn me, I’ll give it a try.

- Do Pat.  Get off them old pyjamas now and change into your superblazer.  Go out there and TAKE NO SHIT!!!

- I won’t Nora.  I’ll take NO FECKIN SHIT AT ALL!!!

Pat O’Sullivan – He Won’t Put Up With Shit

Pat won’t put up with the sort of old guff you hear in City Hall.

He won’t be like the stuffed-shirt fools that pass for politicians in this country.

Why?  Because Pat is able to read and write, and not only that, but he’s able to talk.

Pat can multi-task.  Pat can deliver a speech, blink and fart, all at the same time.

That’s the sort of man we want in City Hall.  A doer.  A mover.  A shaker. A walker.  A talker.  A lover, soldier, statesman and poet.

A goddamn hero if the truth was known.

Not a half-educated mumbling idiot like the sort we’ve all been voting for up to now.

Kick them out and vote Pat O’Sullivan.

Remember: Pat won’t stand for shit.

Pat O’Sullivan Is 99% Honest

It’s true.  More honest than most.  That’s Pat O’Sullivan.

Pat is at least 99% honest and you can’t get better than that.  Furthermore, he means nearly everything he says and he understands most of the issues.

As if that wasn’t enough, Pat has some policies and many of them make sense.

Now look.  Compare this with what we already have sitting in the Town Hall and tell me Pat isn’t the man for the job.

Honest Pat.  You can usually trust him.

No Right and Left Says Pat

The days of Right and Left-wing politics are over, declares Pat O”Sullivan, independent candidate for Limerick City Council.

From now on, there’s only Right and Wrong.

Good man, Pat.  That’s what we want to hear.

He Might Be A Gobshite, But You Can Always Kick Him Out If You Don’t Like Him

The City Council is full of gobshites and all they think about is themselves. Most of them couldn’t write their name with a stick in the dirt.  Most of them would be hard-pressed to count to ten without stuttering.

Why do people vote for them?  Why do people vote for these useless gobshites?

Because that’s all we have to vote for.  Gobshites.

So why not take a chance on Pat?

Maybe he’ll turn out to be a gobshite, or maybe he won’t, but what have you got to lose?  If he’s a worse gobshite than the gobshites in the City Council, you can always kick him out next time.

Take a chance on having one less gobshite this time.

Pat O’Sullivan – You Can Always Kick Him Out Next Time

Let me put it this way.  Maybe he’ll be useless, but he could hardly be worse than the fools we already have, and at least he’s honest.

Pat believes he can make a difference, unlike the gobshites in the City Council who haven’t a clue.

At least Pat has a few ideas about making your life better.  They mightn’t all be right but  he has some sort of brain in his head, which makes a pleasant change.

Go on, give him a vote. If you don’t like him, you can always kick him out next time.

Pat O’Sullivan for Limerick City Council

We were sitting around the pub contemplating our new-found unemployment.

What’s it all about? said Nodge. I used to be an investment banker, but now I’m a dole sponger.

Banker? Dole sponger? No difference, responded Chopper.  I used to be a property developer.  Look at me now.

What? we all replied.  You’re sitting there counting huge piles of money.

True, said Chopper, but the piles of money are far smaller these days, and most of them will be living in a Zurich secret account for years.

Booooommm!! The door burst open and a super-hero in a power-blazer burst in.

Drop that money NOW!!

A ripple ran through the impoverished, non-drinking, unemployed crowd.

Could this be Spiderman?

Of course not.  Don’t be ridiculous.  Spiderman doesn’t wear a handkerchief inhis breast pocket.  Spiderman doesn’t have a breast pocket.

Well then, could it be Batman?

Oh for God’s sake.

Well, maybe it’s Willie O’Dea.

The entire room goes silent and the piano player stops a-tinklin’ until somebody mutters Willie O’Dea?  Are you referring to a member of that corrupt, incompetent, crooked bunch of…?

God no!  I’d rather wear a built-up shoe!

It’s Honest Pat.  He looks mean.  He’s not going to take any shit.

I’m no Willie O’Dea, he growls. You call me Willie O’Dea, you ask for big trouble.  Property developers? Bankers?

Nodge and Chopper cower in fear.  Please, Patman, don’t hurt us.

Pat smiles kindly.  Surrender all that you have and follow me. Now where are those useless City Councillors?

Pat O’Sullivan To Run For Election

This is Pat O’Sullivan.

He’s sick of hearing the same old political rubbish, and he’s decided to do something about it.

Pat’s going to run for election to Limerick City Council, and when he gets there, he’ll be nobody’s puppet.  Pat is his own man, and he knows what it takes to run an effective operation.

Pat will admit freely that he used to believe all the old political clichés just like the rest of us, but now he’s sick of it, the same as you are, and he wants to change things.  He’s angry with the corruption and incompetence at the top of the political tree.  He’s sick of the tired old thinking in the City Council, and the guff that passes for intelligent talk.  He wants to bring a bit of vision and determination to the private club that the Council has become.

Look at it this way: he could hardly be worse than the gang that’s in there right now.  The worst local authority in all Ireland.